It’s Saturday afternoon here and I’m happy to report that I am safely in a hotel in Johannesburg for the evening. The past couple days have been rough.
Thank you for all your emails of support … you warmed my heart. I’ve picked myself up out of the dark hole of ‘failure’ and feel relatively certain that whatever led to my expulsion is not personal … other than the fact that I am white.
After receiving the news that I was leaving at the end of the school day on Thursday, I was shunned in the same way that I witnessed them treating others – and it hurt. They gradually quit speaking to me, stole my food, and gave me “non-existent” status. The same people who were so kind and protective six weeks ago turned on me in a heartbeat. It’s been incredible to experience.
I’ve learned a lot from this adventure … not the least of which is that cultural barriers are so hard to dismantle. I’m sure there will be more understanding of all the events, pleasant and unpleasant, as time goes on and the purposes of it all makes its way into my consciousness.
It seemed pretty clear before I left home that this journey was meant to be … there were very few obstacles to overcome, and my night dreams kept pointing me to the next step. It seems equally obvious that it’s time to come home. About a week ago I started having dreams of being back at home, grieving with my friends. And … contrary to typical airline practices, my airline rearranged my travel plans without any charges. I feel held closely in grace.
I will be back in San Francisco on Monday, just in time for St. Patrick’s Day and Easter. I can’t wait to collect all the hugs you’ve promised !!
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